The recent Wall Street bonuses that Goldman Sachs, CIT, JPMorgan et al gave their top employees were from a syringe. They got vaccinations against the dreaded new H1N1 flu. Excuse me, but this means that now every time I write the name “Goldman Sachs” a pig will appear. Please excuse the delay while I conjure that pig up. ***

Okay… And I solemnly swear that each time Goldman Sachs (oops, pig!) is mentioned by me that I will bring in the pig. This is the pig we own, the pig we are supporting.

Each of the major bailout corporations were given — by the CDC?!! — a supply of vaccine from around 200 to 1200 doses. Citigroup got the 1200.

I didn’t realize the too-big-to-fail banks’ staff consisted entirely of babies and pregnant women. Or are they all just over 80 or something?

Time Inc. and Sloan-Kettering in NYC also got the vaccine; I never knew that Time Magazine was a health care facility. Next time I get sick, maybe I should go there. And cough hard.

Are corporations a division of the community or something, that the CDC consults with to communicate with the general public, is this why they have distributed medicine to them? Are they part of the government? I have to think for a minute what I am a citizen of. Wait. Does the branching go: Nation… state….county…municipality/town…citizen — or is it: Nation…corporation…region….department…office cubicle…citizenworker?

Sorry for all the questions. I still have to learn to stop asking stuff. And I have to quit makin’ stuff up, while I’m at it.

Morgan Stanley said they were giving their whole supply (1000 doses) to area hospitals. Is there any confirmation, I wonder? You know how much we believe them these days. Believe, believe, believe.

So this is how it is now: Wall Street gets the lifesaving vaccines, gets the billions of dollars’ bailout. I read that Canada gave the vaccine to a hockey team, the Calgary Flames, AND their families, the day before local clinics had to stop giving it out to the at-risk groups because they ran out. I’m not sure how much more palatable this is. Hockey teams in Canada are the equivalent of Brad & Angelina, George Clooney, Miley Cyrus. All of whom probably already got the vaccination. Which is logical, on the government’s part because: Movie and TV celebrities are the people who keep us going to movies, watching TV, keep us buying consumer goods, all of which keeps us medicated materially and keeps us from doing other things, like changing our government dramatically.

I wonder if J.K. Rowling, the Englishwoman richer than Queen Elizabeth, has had the vaccine yet.

It’s a shame. These corporations have put us in the position of actually wishing their top staff would get sick. It’s not likely to happen; the Goldman Sachs (pig!) executives probably already received their shots, and vaccinations are pretty effective.

I never, ever thought we’d be here. Goldman (pig!), CITI, JPMorgan, AIG, and the Fannie siblings act openly giving these outrageous bonuses, unwarranted super-special health consideration the public does not get; they do everything so unabashedly! If we had the plague, all the bankers and brokers would simply leave the cities and go to their estates in green Florence, sing, and tell one hundred stories while we died! Do you realize that?

Does anyone wonder how brokers do on organ transplant lists?

We have been unable to persuade our swollen, dropsical Congress to do things like break up the banks, or add the regulation that should be there. Our president is asleep and dreaming, like Chthulhu in his house at R’lyeh. And pigs — I tell you — are flying.